Saturday

Today was not too bad. I woke up in pain as usual. The dog hogged the bed all night making it almost impossible to sleep comfortably. The bedroom was hot and the air was very dry making it hard to breathe. My daughter has been finally showing her teenagerness and it is driving me absolutely bonckers. I love her to death, she is a very bright young woman (which is even more frustrating) and she has some very high expectations for herself. It almost worries me because she stresses out way too much. My son has been going through a lying stage and it can be hard to handle especially since he is very good at it (like I used to be). I often find myself watching them closely for any signs that they too might be bipolar. My daughter has a higher chance then my son does because her biological father also is bipolar. I just hope that if she or my son were to be bipolar, that I would be able to recognize it. I had it all my life but did not get diagnosed until just a few years ago. I do not wish my children to go through what I did. I was very good at pushing my family away to the point that they don't care much for me anymore. I have a harder time of dealing with that now that I am meds. Before I did not care much before because it was all about me and all the wrong they did to me. When I was hurting them. I dont blame them at all, I just wish I was able to rectify things. I want my family back. I am greatful that they don't hold any of it against the kids. Well I hope not.