I have been so stressed out about not having a car and what needs to be done. My body is hurting something feirce and I am freezing. I have been real irritable and it is almost impossible to try to keep to myself when the kids are on vacation for the week. My head is pounding and I took Alieve but is not helping. I am debating taking one of my daughter's oxycodones from when her wisdom teeth were pulled. I have already had to take a calonopin to help bring my stress level down.

Thank God the weekend is over. Son's birthday party was Friday, he had one friend sleepover afterwards. Daughter's birthday party was today and her friends slept over, her actual birthday was today. A friend's son's birthday party was also today. Just got back. I am so tired and greatful that it is all over. I am in some serious pain right now. I don't think I have been in this much pain in a long time. It hurt any time we hit a bump in the road. I think that all this stress is getting to me and the change in the weather. Tomorrow will be another busy day. I am behind on homework and there is so much to take care of that has to do with my car. I really hope that the lady will pay for my car, from the accident that my daughter got into. I just don't like to be without a car it is driving me nuts.

I am now officially carless. My daughter got rearended tonight and my car may be totalled. My insurance may not cover it cause I only have liability and the other car was not insured. In other words I am completely FUCKED and not in a good way. It is really gonna suck not having a car.

its been a couple days since my last post, just have not felt much like doing anything. Classes have started up again and I don't really have much enthusiasm for that either. First assignment is due on Friday and still have not started it. I can't concentrate and my body hurts. Had a cop at my door over the weekend because my son decided to take some school property and place it under the tire of a teachers car so that is would get run over when she backed up. I don't know what is going on with him and it worries me. Its like he is getting worse. We were gonna get him a Wii for his birthday on Friday but he does not deserve one so he probably won't get it now.

took the kids to see Percy Jackson and the olympians today. It was pretty good. Then took them out to dinner. Probably shouldn't have spent the money but it is not often that I get to do something like that with them. I have been in denial lately. I started smoking again but only a very few people know about it. My family does not know and I don't want them to because they will be disappointed Plus I plan on stopping. I should not be smoking though cause I am on birth control and I am over 35. Got my period today which I am ok with. I won't have it when the kids go away so that will be nice.

I finally called to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. I have been meaning to for a while now but usually when I think of it I am on the road or in the middle of doing something. By the time I am home or done I forget and it does not get done. This is a normal accurance for me. I have tried many things but they are never consistant. I feel better know though that my meds will now be perscribed by a professional instead of my primary. Now I just have to remember to call and find a counselor for my daughter. I can't do it right now cause it is a weekend. LOL oh well.

I got a phone call from my son's teacher yesterday. Apparently he and a friend decided to write a mean valentine to a student in another class and making it from someone else so that that other person would get into trouble. I just don't know what to do with him. He is lying, stealing and being mean. My friend said that everytime he lies I should wash his mouth out with soap. I don't know if I could bring myself to do that. It might work though. I have tried everything else. She also suggested taping his fingers together on his right hand. These are both extreme things but I don't want him growing up being known as a theif and lier or a bully. That is not who he is. He is a good kid. I think that if either one of my children were to become bipolar it would be him. That scare me

well I am on vacation from school for the next couple days. I am in pain and hopefully it does not last long cause I really don't want to spend what free time I have in pain unable to enjoy myself. My son has been stealing and lying lately and I really don't know what to do about it. He took ten dollars from me the other day and told his father that he had earned it and he spent it on toys. Then this morning when I was walking the dog he went into my closet and took one of the toys I took from him. I just don't know what to do. He is grounded in the corner and lost his playstation and what else can I do.

The day started out ok, I woke up kinda early cause my son had a friend sleep over and they woke me up a 6am. I was not in a whole lot of pain though. All of a sudden I am in a bad mood though. I don't get it.

went grocery shopping today and probably should have waited till someone could have gone with me. My back hurts and I am exhausted. I am babysitting Johnny and another one of my son's friends tonight and my daughter just took off to the movies with her friends. I am alone and tired and cranky hopefully I don't kill anyone. Just joking.

Still feeling like crap but have a lot of energy. Thank God for that too because I have so much to do. I know though that if I don't get up and do them soon they won't get done. I will take a shower now and then do some shopping before kids come home. Realtor is coming to take pics of inside of house today because landlord is trying to sell the house. I don't think that it will sell anytime soon because he is asking too much for it. Just keep the fingers crossed cause I don't know what I would do right now if I had to move. I don't have any money to put down on a place. Well trying not to think about it too much or will get depressed.

chest hurts today, this cold is kicking my ass. I was up all night coughing my lungs up. I took nyquil and a sleeping pill before bed but still had trouble sleeping. My muscles are sore.

woke up in a bad mood this morning. Dog pooped on bedroom floor and then again upstairs in the hallway. BAD DOG! Gonna try to finish my last assignment for school so that I will be on vacation sooner. I am still sick though so we will see.

Well I am sick, I have a chest cold and it sucks. My body hurts bad and I wish I could sleep. Heating pad is not working very well. I got a call from my son's teacher today, I guess he found an old pair of my glasses and brought them to school. When he was asked about them he lied repeatedly. I just don't know what to do with him sometimes. Well goodnight to all

I know its been a few days since my last entry and I apologize for that. I have gotten behind on my school work and needed to focus on that. My focus is still off some. I have had no real amibition to do the work and that is not good. I usually have to work extra hard when this happens. I only have 5 more classes to complete until I recieve my associates degree and I currently have a 3.93 GPA all As except for one B. I am very proud of myself for this. I have been told though that I tend to be very hard on myself and get real disappointed if I get less then an A. I am not sure if I will continue on to my bachelor degree after I complete my associates degree. I only started schooling for something to do and even though I am doing something I never thought possible I am not sure if I really want to keep up the stress that is intailed in staying in school. We will see. Maybe I will just take a break. I am tired and my life seems to be falling apart at times because all I can think about is getting my next assignment in on time.